JINGLE HELLS, JINGLE HELLS…    A dangerous time lies ahead, sisters and brothers.  Be alert, be brave, and be warned: the holidays are upon us.    The hazards of this time are camouflaged in sentimental songs, twinkling lights and colorful wrapping paper, but it will take profound courage and good humor to negotiate the emotional and social minefield that is this last two weeks of the year.    First, there are the work parties.  Do you go?  Do you bring your partner?  Do you introduce your partner to your boss, whose Lincoln sports a bumper sticker that reads, “God said it--I believe it--that settles it”?      Then there are the family gatherings.  Never mind the Anarchist’s Cookbook—here’s the real recipe for a bomb: In large house on Christmas Day (Thanksgiving is also acceptable), stir together one Catholic grandmother, one son-in-law whom that grandmother despises, two redneck uncles, their fundamentalist wives and three sugar-addled children.  Fold in the new neighbor your sister invited even though all anyone knows about him is that he mows crop circles into his yard on purpose.  Now add LGBT family members.  Pour in whiskey, wine, or other alcoholic libation of choice.  Stand back.  Detonation is imminent.    As if that’s not enough potential for explosion, there’s the religious element of the season to configure.  Your Pentecostal mother is visiting you for a week.  Do you invite her to your Unitarian potluck?  Your partner’s Jewish folks want him home for Hanukah.  Will he be back in time for your pagan dad’s Yule dinner?    Yikes.            Throughout all of this, you will be assaulted with the nauseating barrage of commercial manipulation that officially heralds this season of hope, peace and redemption.  The media will saturate us with advertisements insisting we can buy our holiday happiness RIGHT HERE!  Knowing better, many of us will still eventually have to navigate our local malls, where we will be assailed from all sides by insistent sales gimmicks, relentless canned Christmas music, and women who will ruthlessly use their children’s strollers like cowcatchers to clear their path on their desperate quest for PS3s, MP3s and other expensive detritus.  Be warned: after the apocalypse the landscape will be littered with the ravaged credit of those who succumbed to the voices in their TV sets. It is easy to feel torn apart by the demands of the holidays.  Like the time of our coming out, we are again faced with defining what’s meaningful to us.  But those of the rainbow tribe have always been faced with defining things—starting with our selves—the way we see them, rather than the way we are told we should see them.     A few survival reminders to help you get to the New Year with a little cheer left over:         While a cocktail or two can help you unwind at that office party or family dinner, be mindful of the fine line between a mild lowering of social inhibitions and a regrettable topless Riverdance thing that your co-workers/family will never let you forget, even if you have no recollection of it at all.   Attending family religious rituals with your LGBT partner can cause anxiety for everyone concerned.   Understand that a little discomfort can be tolerated and is not necessarily a manifestation of hostility.   Who knows—with a little divine intervention, everyone might learn something.  Remember that no matter how uncomfortable you, your lover, or your parents feel about being in church together, your Supreme Being knows better and is rolling His/Her eyes at you all. Remember that “tradition” is not necessarily synonymous with “meaningful”.  Do we adhere to the holiday traditions of our parents?  Our partners?  Our workplaces?  Our social groups?  Why?   Because they’re important to us personally, or because we feel obligated to do so?  Spend your precious time where your heart wants to be.  Be unafraid to create new traditions that encompass the people, themes and activities that are meaningful to you at this time of year.  (“If you build it, they will come!”) Remember that the most important gift you will ever give or receive is the time spent with those who love you.  Prioritize accordingly. Most of all, remember that it’s your holiday, too.  Don’t overextend your money or your time, and don’t let guilt—over gifts you cannot afford, events you cannot attend, or tensions you cannot resolve— become the predominant sentiment of your holiday. May all of the rainbow tribe have the gift of love in your lives, and may the year ahead bring you hope and happiness. ###